Planet Unknown

Rick: Hey Pete, do you think you would be a good terraformer?

Pete: Do you mean a good colonizer? Destroyer of cultures? Agent of genocide?

Rick: No, no, I mean on a planet where there isn’t life already. Terraforming so there can be life. Do you think you would be good at that?

Pete: Oh yeah, they tried to do that in Star Trek III: The Search for Spock.

Rick: Oh yeah. That’s right.

Pete: Yeah. It didn’t work out so well. The planet exploded.

Rick: Yeah, no. I have a game where you can terraform but the planet doesn’t explode.

Pete: And then Grand Moff Tarkin used the Death Star to explode a planet in Star Wars: A New Hope. That was definitely genocide.

Rick: Uh, yeah. Sure. But, see, that wasn’t terraforming.

Pete: Those poor Alderaanians. “Alderians?” I guess you could make an argument that exploding a few planets here and there is part of terraforming a sector of space or a galaxy. What do you think?

Rick: I think we’re getting off-topic.

Pete: I wonder if there are any Alderian refugees who were living off-world when the planet got exploded who are now living and walking among us.

Rick: It’s “Alderaanians,” and I’m sure that is not something that we need to worry about right now, so let’s talk about this game that I–

Pete: Do you think they are out for revenge?

Rick: Um, who?

Pete: The Alderaanian refugees. Should we be worried?

Rick: Do I think the fictitious refugees of a fictitious species are out for revenge in a way that we need to be worried about?  That’s a tough one—No. No, I don’t. I think we should talk about Planet Unknown (2022), designed by Ryan Lambert and Adam Rehberg and published by Adam's Apple Games.

Pete: Do you think there are aliens living in my house—like the ones in Love Actually?

Rick: What? There are no aliens in that movie!

Pete: There are. There are “people” who believe in “love” in that movie. Humans? I think not.

Rick: Okay, well that’s a whole other thing, man. Look–ugh, how do I hook you, how do I hook you . . . Oh! The game has double-layered, double-sided player boards.

Pete: What?! Double-layered, double-sided player boards?

Rick: Yup.

Pete: I’m so into it.

Rick: Thought you would be. Also in the center of the table there is a Lazy Susan that holds polyomino.

Pete: Sweet! Can we use the Lazy Susan to hold cheese during the game session?

Rick: No, that’s not what it’s for. Besides, that would be exceptionally poor gamer etiquette.

Pete: What if we terraform it?